


you have not known what you are, you have slumber'd upon yourself all your life

by a_raleigh



Category: Incredible Hulk (2008), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, This is an AU, always a girl!Bruce, natasha is a bamf, of course it is, somewhat introspective, tagging is tricky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-15
Updated: 2012-11-06
Packaged: 2017-11-14 06:27:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/512302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_raleigh/pseuds/a_raleigh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has secrets. Bruce Banner's is his life. The thing about secrets though is that eventually they come out....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading. This is my first attempt in the Avenger fandom. I was making my way through Avengerkink and came across a prompt that wouldn’t leave me be. It had been filled but my muse was very insistent. I’ve got quite a bit outlined and am working on writing it out, but real life has been busy and I have some procrastinator tendencies…so I decided to put this up now as motivation to get and keep moving.
> 
> The title and verses interspersed throughout are taken from the Walt Whitman poem “To You.” 
> 
> The poem is not mine and alas, The Avengers belong to Marvel and Stan Lee. Not making any money from this either. Self edited, so any mistakes and comma abuse is solely on me. I hope you enjoy and comments are welcome! The prompt is at the end.

Prologue  
 ****

This tale is not like others you’ve heard before. Sure, there are good guys and bad guys; a battle for the fate of the world. A group of misfits, the only thing connecting them all being an extraordinary skill set. Whether they think themselves extraordinary is a whole other question.

****

There is the assassin who once used skills drilled into her since childhood for the highest bidder. The archer, who brought in the assassin and was himself brought back by the assassin. The soldier, experienced in saving the world already, trying to figure out his place in a time not his. The demigod, who once courted war; was seeking out a way to stop his brother’s lust for it. There is the billionaire, the engineer who sold death, redeeming himself through charity and fighting those who threaten the weak. And finally, there is the scientist who created a monster inside from radiation and a deep pervasive anger.

****

This unlikely team of misfits come together and they save the world. Good guys win, bad guys lose---end of story, right? No….the end is the beginning.

>   
>  _WHOEVER you are, I fear you are walking the walks of dreams,_   
>  _I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your feet and hands;_   
>  _Even now, your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners, troubles, follies, costume,_   
>  _crimes, dissipate away from you_   
> 

Secrets kept a lifetime from all but one who has his complete trust. Painful ones, ones he thought he could let go of once upon a time. Then there was the accident and it turned out, this painful secret could also keep him safe. So he wrapped himself in his lie and ran. Always running, until he was recruited into SHIELD to locate the Tesseract. All he had to do was find it and he could return to what he did best. But then there was one wasn’t afraid, who got close and knocked on the walls he had built. Then all hell broke loose and the biggest secret of all, the one he counted on to protect him broke free.

****

_**Bruce Banner, the man, was just an illusion.** _


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the movie, folks!! From here on out, it's all AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I anticipate that the chapters will get progressively longer--that's what my notes did, anyway! Thanks to all who read my tiny prologue. I hope you enjoy this! I'm shooting for a goal of updating once a week, wish me luck. Again, poem and characters are not mine. Self-edited again, all mistakes and comma abuse is on me.
> 
> Enough of the rambly author notes. On with the chapter!!!

“I’ll have that drink now.”

  


There is a chagrined, defeated look on Loki’s face as he leans back against the steps, hands held out in surrender. Clint’s aim doesn’t falter from Loki’s forehead until a delicate hand on his arm and a heavy one on his shoulder gently urged him to lower his bow. There was a tense breath in and out and then the group broke apart; Thor reaching down to pull his brother up to standing while Clint walked towards the bar with Natasha close behind. Tony headed towards the walkway mechanism that removed his suit and Steve makes contact with SHIELD.

  


Battle over; Hulk begins looking for a way out of the penthouse, pacing along the edge; broken glass crunching under his feet. Natasha watches his increasing anxiousness from the corner of her eye. Clint is seated in a barstool in front of her, his ankle in her lap. There is a well stocked open first aid kit on the bar because Stark is nothing if not prepared. She feels his leg from knee to ankle and looks at him.

  


“I don’t think anything is broken, but we should get it looked at further when we get back to Medical. We’ll leave your boots on, it’ll help keep it braced,” Natasha says with a small smile of relief. “There are some painkillers in here if you want to take the edge off.”

  


Clint shakes his head with a grimace. “Leave it for now, it’s not broken and I need a clear head to make sure Loki is secure.” He runs his thumb gently across her hairline. “Are you alright? That’s still bleeding—

  


“Hey, big guy its okay,” Tony’s voice carried across the space and he made his way towards the Hulk; who was preparing to leap out of the penthouse. “You’re safe here; you don’t have to run anymore.”

  


There is a moment where Natasha thinks Hulk doesn’t quite believe Stark and will take off anyway. His face is a mix of distrust, fear and hope; then it changes to almost a serene acceptance and Hulk just sits down and sighs.

  


“Hulk not run, Tinman.”

  


The smile that crosses Tony’s face is full and happy. “Awesome! When Bruce is ready, we’ll head out for shawarma. But right now, I’ve got to head to the lab to take off the suit since the walkway mechanism is completely destroyed.” Tony pats Hulk’s shoulder and heads for his elevator. Steve walks over to where Thor has Loki secured for the moment.

  


“Colonel Fury has arranged for a more secure holding area for your brother.” There is a moment and Thor is nodding his head.

  


“Thank you, my friend; I am most grateful for the assistance. My Mjolnir will keep Loki from using his magic until we can return to Asgard, where he will be held accountable for his actions.”

  


Clint has made his way to Steve and Thor and caught the tail end of their discussion. “I’ll head there with you if you don’t mind, peace of mind and all that,” a hard glint in his eyes that said there’d be no stopping him. Steve nodded his approval.

  


“I have no problem with that. We should head out now, though.”

  


Natasha calls out to them as they leave. “I’ll let you know the location of the restaurant Tony wants to go to, Clint.” He raises his hand in acknowledgement and the four of them step into the elevator.

  


She takes a deep breath and walks to the Hulk, who is almost fidgeting as he sits. To Natasha, it’s like he’s apprehensive and a bit fearful. There is a sense of irony to that, because really…that’s what she should be feeling. But she’s had time to think and the truth is, to her at least; the Hulk seems more a defensive response to Banner’s anger or fear.

  


“Tony’s right, you know. You’re safe here and nobody’s gonna hurt you again.” He looks at Natasha with skepticism. “I know why you protect Banner and I promise no one will find that out from me. So, I’m going to find clothes for Bruce and give you some privacy; although we don’t have a lot of time. Stark will be back here soon.”

  


She heads off towards a hallway off the massive living area before calling on Stark’s AI. “Jarvis?” The cool British voice answers her, polite as always. A short discussion on where she can locate clothing ensues. She admits to herself that Stark has impressive taste, trying to find something simple. She settles on black jeans and a black button down shirt, finds a pair of sneakers and heads back to the living room.

  


The sound of bones snapping back into place greets her as Natasha enters. From what she sees, the process looks painful. The green tinge fades from an unconscious Bruce’s skin. Natasha realizes then they have a small problem. While not an ample set, Bruce’s breasts will most certainly be noticed. _Bruce is a woman. Why would she pretend to be a man?_ Those two thoughts ran through her mind, more questions springing from them as Natasha headed back over to the first aid kit on the bar. Silently thanking Pepper for the truly, well stocked first aid kit; she reaches for the ACE wrapping and a bottle of aspirin. She finds a bottle of water in the small fridge behind the bar and with her hands full, walks over to where Bruce was slowly coming around.

  


Natasha sets down her parcel and kneels beside Bruce. “Careful, the Hulk sat down in glass. I wouldn’t want you to get cut up.” Bruce nods and slowly sits up, until she realizes who’s talking to her. She attempts covering her chest and gets an amused smile in return. “Too late, I caught an eyeful on the Helicarrier,” she said, handing her the bottle of aspirin and water.

  


A grateful look graces Bruce’s face as she takes three of the pills and drains the water bottle. She meets Natasha’s eyes. “I don’t think asking you to forget what you’ve seen will work, will it?” Her tenor voice sounded rough, like she’d been screaming for hours; Natasha realized as the Hulk, she did. Natasha gives her a small smile.

  


“Unfortunately, no. But now is not the time for the conversation we should be having. We need to get you dressed, unless you want Stark and the rest of the team to know now.”

  


Bruce shakes her head and Natasha holds out the wrap. “This will do for binding now. I know where we can get better compression garments for later.” There is a moment between the two of them and Natasha moves behind Bruce to make sure there wasn’t any glass on her back before helping her to wrap her chest. The shirt is next and after checking her feet, the shoes. Natasha helps Bruce to her feet and brushes the backs of her legs and serves as balance while she pulls on the jeans. She is just fastening them when the elevator sounds and Tony strides out.

  


“Ah, Bruce, you’re back! And you found clothes, great!” He slings an arm around Bruce’s shoulders. There’s a slight blush that touches Bruce’s cheeks at the touch. “Yeah, Natasha found them for me.”

  


Tony gives Natasha an odd look before shrugging it off. “Did she tell you that we are going for shawarma?” He pulls Bruce along toward the elevator and gestures for Natasha to follow. She rolls her eyes and falls in with them as Tony rambles on. “I’ve never had shawarma, wanted to try it……”

  


> Your true Soul and Body appear before me,  
>  They stand forth out of affairs—out of commerce, shops, law, science, work, forms,  
>  clothes, the house, medicine, print, buying, selling, eating, drinking, suffering, dying.

  


It’s five days later and the team is gathering to say goodbye to Thor and send him with the Tesseract and Loki back to Asgard. Tony had invited everyone to stay at the Tower, citing he had the space and it would be much more comfortable than anything SHIELD could put them up in. For Bruce it was a bit overwhelming, the sheer size of her rooms. She’d always lived simply and to go from that to an apartment larger than all the places she had lived before put together….well, there was a lot of meditation to find her balance again. It also took double and triple checking to make sure JARVIS wasn’t recording and tweaking protocols to make sure her privacy couldn’t be breached. She was surprised at how accommodating Tony was about it all, making sure she was happy because as he had told her on the way back from shawarma, _‘You’re staying right? You should. Imagine the things we could accomplish together, the things you could accomplish. If it’s Ross you’re worried about, don’t be. Between SHIELD and me, he’ll never bother you again….”_ She’d been half asleep in the car, the events of the day finally catching up to her; so she’d mumbled that she’d think about it.

  


To be honest, she was seriously considering it. The thought of working in a lab again, to be able to help people without the fear of being found out and forced to run was appealing. She had doubts regarding SHIELD getting Ross off her back; but with Tony, she had none. If he said he would do it, then he would. She hasn’t trusted someone this quickly since Betty, the only other one who had no fear of her and what she was; the other guy had saved her too. On the Helicarrier as well, there was a moment when he paused; the memory of it making an appearance in her nightmares the first night. And Natasha knew her secret, knew and kept it. Assisted her subterfuge even….the second evening in the tower there had been a knock at her door.

  


_Bruce answered with a bit of trepidation, still not comfortable in these new surroundings. Natasha stood outside patiently as if she was aware of Bruce’s unease. “I’ve brought these for you,” she said as Bruce let her in; “These will conceal you much better than the bandages you’ve been using.” Bruce took the package she offered, inside were several undershirts which upon closer inspection turned out to be compression garments. Surprised again by her understanding, Bruce flushes red and smiles so she doesn’t cry._

  


_“I..thank you. This means more than you know.” The words tumble awkwardly from Bruce and she tilts her head towards the interior of the apartment. “I’ve just made tea, would you like a cup?”_

  


_“Yes, Bruce, a cup of tea sounds nice.”_

  


_Natasha had stayed and the two talked for the rest of the evening, everything from the places they’ve seen to their current accommodations. Pleasant conversation that Bruce is exceedingly grateful for doesn’t include her secret and the many questions Natasha has regarding it. She does offer Bruce one piece of advice as she’s leaving, “I will help you with this, but I truly believe you should consider letting this secret go. There are good people here, on our team and I know you can trust them.” Bruce nodded stiffly and told her good night._

  


She kept to herself for the next few days. The last evening before Thor was to leave; Tony held a dinner party and Bruce could not find it in her to decline. She didn’t regret it either, learning more about the team; beginning to call them friends. Every once in a while she had felt eyes on her; she’d look around and find Tony watching her and a few times Natasha would let herself be caught with a knowing look on her face. Bruce would return those looks with a small shrug and smile of her own.

  


The following morning, dressed in Tony’s clothes and her shoes, Bruce assembled with the rest of the Avengers to see Thor take Loki and the Tesseract back to Asgard. She let herself be awed at the sight of the two of them transported in a show of light that stirred the scientific curiosity of how it worked. The team said their goodbyes, wanting to take some time for themselves. Natasha hands Bruce a duffel bag, her things from the Helicarrier, with a look on her face that asks the question. _‘Are you staying?’_ The smile on Bruce’s face answers it.

  


Tony eventually makes his way over to Bruce. “So, can I take you anywhere? Where do you want to go?” Bruce leaves him hanging just a bit as they head to Tony’s car. Opening the passenger door, she feels set in her decision.

  


_“Didn’t you promise me a tour of Candyland?”_


	3. Update

Hello....

I just wanted to drop some info about the story. I'm working on it, not as quickly as I would like but getting there. I started a new job at the end of September after barely working for the last 2 years and getting back on my feet became the biggest priority. Stability is finally in reach, the ton of weight and stress are lifting from my shoulders. If you've bookmarked this tale, thanks ever so much! It's not abandoned and still a work in progress, so thanks again for staying with me.

**Author's Note:**

> When Bruce was born a girl, her father threw a fit, and proceeded to lie, bribe, etc. until he basically convinced the entire world that Bruce was actually a male. He even gave her the male name Bruce.  
> Bruce hides the fact that she's female, because well, it's safer that way. The only person she's ever admitted she's actually female to is Betty.  
> Then Avengers happen, and she feels safer with them then she has for a long time, and finally tells them she's actually a female.  
> Then she goes on a discovery to figure out what it means to be really female, while still snapping back into a male mindset whenever she feels uncomfortable. The Avengers make it their mission for her not to be scared of her gender.


End file.
